Ms. Potter The NPC: A Parodical Essay

  DISCLAIMER: This is not intended to be taken seriously. The Teacher in question, despite having some robotic qualities, is a wonderful teacher and person. With that out of the way, please enjoy. Based on a true story      It is a popular theory that the universe is a computerized simulation. It makes sense, we've seen what computers have made possible. It's not unimaginable that a very advanced computer could simulate the universe, or that the universe itself is a simulation. TV, movies, books, and games that use this concept, such as The Matrix, say that not only is the universe a simulation, but some of the people in it are as well.  Non-playable characters, you could call them. Non-playable characters, or NPCs for short, are characters in video games that are not controlled by the player. These characters usually serve as the townspeople, the quest-givers, and merchants of games. If the universe is a simulation, NPCs likely exist in the 'real world'. In Gordon Korm

Declaring Independence from the Flow of Time

 Humans have always progressed. We have gone from walking to flying, messengers to instant messaging, fire to lightbulbs, and radio to TV. It is a natural next step to not only move freely through space, but to move freely through time as well.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, all dimensions are created equal, and our movement in them should be treated as such. The first, second, and third dimensions of space allow us to move within them freely, so the fourth dimension of time should allow us to as well.

Grievances with the flow of time:

  • In the fourth dimension, time, we can only move forward. In the first three dimensions, space, we can move in any direction we like. For consistency's sake, we should be able to move in all directions in all dimensions.

  • Time travel would allow the people of the earth to form a more perfect timeline. We could stop countless ancient wars that took innocent lives without purpose, and declare war on countless ancient tyrants who took innocent lives without purpose.

  • Can you imagine being a two-dimensional being only able to move left, right, up, and down? Your life would be much more limited. It would be like the difference between kindergarten, and med school. We believe that time travel would make such a difference in the lives of the people of Earth. 

  • Only being able to move forward in time has created the unnecessary effect of being ‘late’. Because time only moves forward, if you suddenly realize the time to do something, like go to work, has passed, then you are ‘late’ and have missed important time at work. If we could move freely in time, it would not be possible to be late.

  • Because the flow of time forces us to move forward in time at a consistent speed, humans have had to develop the life-wasting art of ‘waiting’. Why must we waste our lives away waiting for work to end some days and rush to get work done before the day ends on other days? It would be much more practical to have independence from the flow of time, allowing us to spend our limited time more efficiently.

Therefore, we, the people of planet Earth, declare our independence from the flow of time and claim our natural right to move throughout time in any direction we please.

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Ms. Potter The NPC: A Parodical Essay